Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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