And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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