Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
