you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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