gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize