We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
