how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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