Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
