? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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