did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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