I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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