if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
