she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
