Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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