My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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