k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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