You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
