apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
