You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
