I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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