I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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