so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
