...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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