So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
