i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
