"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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