Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this boner is exhausting
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
