how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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