I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
