Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
