nut hugger
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
