he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
