So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
