that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
