dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
