My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
