he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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