You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
