Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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