Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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