don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
