i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
