eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
