Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
