Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
