We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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