First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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