I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
