her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the day after is always just damage control
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
