If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
